Enough

I have this reoccurring vision of me chasing myself. The me who's winning the race is taunting the me who's losing the race.  Weird, I know.  But it's my reality.   I'm  not enough for myself. I am not satisfied with myself. Therefore I’m always chasing my better self. 

Now I could see where this could be a great self motivator.  How the ambition of my winning self fuels the determination in my losing self. But that’s not the case.  While I’m happy with the fact that i'm still thriving for success and that I haven't allowed myself to become complacent, I have definitely loss site of the small races I am winning.

It has made me not be able to enjoy the simplest things in life. Joys that I’m certain I'm  taking for granted.  So I'm trying to find a balance.  A balance where life is challenging and enjoyable simultaneously. I want a level of comfort that keeps me uncomfortable. I never want to lose the drive but the drive can no longer drive me crazy. I need to be able to run along myself without losing myself.

Author: Alicia