The Art of Apologizing

The best way to be the most productive in or after an argument is if the guilty party can be persuaded to apologize. However, even when the person at fault may now feel remorse, many are not proficient at crafting appropriate wording to deliver them. The easier it is for an apology to be carried out, the better the chance the individuals have of maintaining a lasting resolution, and ultimately, their relationship. The injuring party must be reminded that the apology will indeed force them to surrender a portion of power in the relationship they share with the person they hurt. If done sincerely and skillfully, the person apologizing will recognize a measure of relief and vulnerability and the person accepting the apology will gain a certain degree of vindication and empowerment. Everyone wins if people are able to let their guard down and put their partner/friend or family member first.

While the act of apologizing may be the most under-appreciated gesture in a relationship, its impact still cannot be overlooked in the success of any union. It is true that while most people are not automatically swayed or softened by an apology, it aids in the attempt to assign a space for anger and dissatisfaction to live.  When you allow a loved one or friend to feel comfortable enough to confess remorse the finality of an argument is rarely as harsh or as prolonged.

While some are equipped with coping methods or extreme patience, most of us by our very nature, become adversarial and tend to lead with defensiveness. Successful relationships will establish the idea of apologizing as a significant part of their healing. It will provide the ability to move forward and  proactively find options for resolution that are fitting and healthy for everyone.

Author: Karen Y. Preston