Solo

Repeat after me.......
"I, John, take you, Jane, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us."

Repeat after me.....
"John, I take you as my husband, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.

I love many parts of weddings. The face of the groom when the bride walks down the aisle, the face of the groom when the father hands his daughter over, the reception, the cocktail hour, the decor, but I have to say my favorite part of a wedding; the vows..  
Two people stand before their friends and family and confess that they promise to deal with their partner's shortcomings, issues, failures, weaknesses; basically, deal with their shit.  Yeah, they say they will love each other in the good times, but how hard is that? The real thing is when they say, "I will take you with ALL OF YOUR FAULTS AND FLAWS."  

After all of these years, I realized that one of my favorite parts of a wedding is actually the scariest part for me and one of the huge reasons why  I question marriage. 

"I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life", is supposed to be more than mere words, it's a promise of forever.   It's a promise that in the midst of dealing with your shit, I will love you for a lifetime. 

Marriage has a  funny way of magnifying your flaws, your insecurities, your shit but you promised that through that you would take care of me, be there for me, and love me.

It's not fair to enjoy my strengths and loathe my weaknesses.  It's not fair to praise me only when things are good. It's not fair to hate the things that I need to work on. You promised to love me, all of me, even my shit. 

So do I get married?  Is the greatest and scariest part of a wedding keeping me from saying. "I Do," ?  Do I trust that a man can deal with my issues, my craziness, my drama, my mood swings, my flaws, my doubt, my shit?  The better question is, can I deal with his?
Do I trust that tying the knot means it won't unravel when either of our shit comes up?  
To marry or not to marry. To tie the knot or to keep it loose.

#dearfuturehusband can you handle my shit?

Author: Tiffani