Bad Friend

I’m not a good friend

Ok I admit. I’m a horrible friend. I mean I suck bad.

I don't respond to text messages quickly. I'm bad at returning phone calls. I probably won't make your event and if I do I'll be late. I have a tendency of disappearing for weeks at a time with no notice. If you're not on Facebook I might possibly forget your birthday. I’m not everyone's cup of tea. More like a dry shot of Hennessey.

To most these are all red flags for anyone to run. But for some odd reason they don't.  Due to my profession, I engage with new people quite frequently. They love the wit and dry humor. The unbiased advice and the “I ain't here for the shits" personality. They are here for all of it. And the minute I realize they have laughed at almost everything I’ve said, I know the dreaded words are coming. “We should hang out sometime.”

Now I get invited out a lot and I am flattered that people want boring me to partake in festivities. But reality is I'm not a good friend nor a great acquaintance. I’m a loner and a day dreamer. I like silence so I can recite Jay Z verves in my head. I have a RBF that screams STAY AWAY and facial expressions that seem to be uncontrollable. I’m just not equipped with some of the things that most normal people require in a friend. And I'm absolutely ok with it.

I’ve learned what friend I am. I’m the ultimate listener  but the realistic responder. I’m the “girl why are you doubting yourself?” and the “bitch get over him.” I can listen to a 2 hour rant. Shred all your thoughts to pieces, pick out the true heart of all you said, and have an itemize life plan with referrals for you at the end. I’m the friend that can chronologically recite all your success in life events while being in the background. I’m the friend that holds you accountable. I have learned to accept all the flaws with the understanding of where they initiate from. I may not babysit your kids ever but I'll never allow you to only define yourself as a mother. Or a wife. Or a boss. Or any other minimal titles that we have attached to ourselves. Because I'm the friend that always see so much more in people. More than they have allowed to see in themselves. I’m my friends biggest cheerleader with the dry smile and sarcastic tone. Reality is my friendship is an acquired taste. Hennessy ain't that bad.

Author: Alicia