Wisdom & Walls
Sarcasm used to be my preferred method of communication. If you would have asked me about 8 years ago - I would have sworn I was the most hilarious human you knew. A quick wit, I thought, was something everyone appreciated - even when it was at his or her expense.
These days, though my sarcasm game is still quite strong, I reserve it for my family as we have an understanding. For the general public, however, I tuck it safely away for the most part. Mostly because what I thought was hilarity was really protection. No one got too close. I erected a wall out of shrewdly crafted zingers. I was not going t let anyone break it down. I thought I was being wise by not letting folks get too close since, like most of us, I’d been hurt by humans before. But I learned that sometimes we mistake walls for wisdom. We mistake shutting down for smartening up.
Simply closing oneself off from relationship, opportunity, trusting others, or being vulnerable is keeping hurt out just as much as it is keeping hurt in. We create an incubator for our wounds until they are infected with bitterness or fear. Once infection sets in, well, it starts to stink - things like insecurity or cynicism begin to manifest and - though we become accustomed to the smell which has lulled us into a false state of safety, others can smell it coming. Those who stick around in spite of it are the ones who have become accustomed to the scent of their own damage and so they don’t mind yours. That is a dangerous place to be.
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Author: Kasidy