Ambivert

When I tell people I’m an introverted extrovert they go huh?? To explain, I get some of my energy from being social. I’m a connector and love bringing people together. I can fill a calendar down to the hour, minute and second with plans. However, I get just as much energy from being alone. Sometimes I enjoy it so much I can turn into a hermit.

I used to say yes to everything but me. I gave all my energy away to others and kept nothing for myself. Eventually I developed social anxiety. I was afraid to go out as I anticipated the drain that comes from being “on” all the time. After a while I was always saying no because I lived in fear. But even behind closed doors I didn’t give myself the proper nurturing I deserved.

The thing is, I want to be invited to the party. I will likely show up but I might talk to one person then hang on the side lines for the rest of the night. Or you can find me leading the soul train line. Either way I still had a good time and will be glad I went. I love talking to people and hearing their stories. I just might not share my own story, or at least not all of it. I don’t like explaining myself and I don’t like small talk so getting to the meat of a conversation or the center of me, might be a little harder. I will, however, listen like a champion and use my own experiences to hopefully make you feel less alone about whatever it is you are going through, good or bad.

 Nowadays, being social is not about being drained and “on” and more about being present and authentic. Now I schedule my down time the same way I do my social time. I need both in order to stay balanced. I fully embrace that life doesn’t stay even. Balance for me isn’t the idea that all the stuff of life will remain level. It is the confidence that I will do what is required for me no matter what is happening around me. It is a journey that started with who I thought I was supposed to be and is now firmly rooted in my authenticity.  

Author: Cherrón